#MeToo

me too

Within a couple of hours, as time passed, he entered my room, silently and secretively as a lion would his prey. I tried to play like I was sleep, but he woke me. He asked if I was ok and apologized for the way my mother spoke to me earlier. I just replied with a smile because truthfully, I didn’t’ even understand her statement as a 7yr old. Then he proceeded to tell me everything was ok and that I could trust him.

At that moment, I began to feel the same confusion I did when my mother disciplined me for the way I interacted with her “man.” He than began to hug me and touch me softly on my face. The thoughts of fatherly love softly warmed my heart. The feelings of concern drifted away as I knew he was there to protect me… so I thought.

What happened after that innocent moment was that thing that haunted me for many years afterwards. That moment of disgust later became the result of childhood nightmares, the fighting in school, loss of self-worth, confusion, hatred, and adult male trust issues. These all propelled and played a part of my life of ridiculous faith.

Yes, the ugliest moments in my life became one of the forefront reasons I had ridiculous faith in knowing God had more in store for me, and I wasn’t going to stop believing until I saw it come to pass.

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Photo Credit: LA Johnson/NPR

Wait List

This excerpt from my upcoming book is just a piece of my unreported story as a survivor of sexual abuse from the hands of my stepfather. I state “unreported” because it was never reported to authorities and with the death threats made by my accuser, I feared my life. With this, I never (until adulthood) shared the things he did to me repeatedly.

The molestation began at the tender age of seven and grew to abuse over the years. For many years I struggled with self-worth, anger, and trust issues as a result of these horrific incidents. It wasn’t until I was forced to seek psychiatric help at the age of fourteen due to multiple failed suicidal attempts, that my thought process began to change. My early twenties would be where I no longer had the thoughts of “ALL MEN” being defiled creatures. And it wasn’t until my latter twenties where I completely released the pain that scarred me throughout my childhood.

Now I stand unashamed of the incidents that occurred as I know it too served a purpose  for my good. Through my pain, I am able to help other persevere.

Through my Teen KICK Ministry, I teach young girls how to not allow labels of hurt, shame, or even social media to define them. I lead through teaching their identity is found through Christ.

I share to state, You TOO can overcome. Know you are not alone and that with Christ… all things are possible, including overcoming sexual abuse or harassment.

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(**Thank you Tarana Burke who started the movement #MeTOO 10 years ago and to Alyssa Milano for helping gain more awareness by using your platform.)

5 Ways to Live Confidently

Hey There!!

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Check out my published article in Nia Magazine!

Super excited about it. Pray it blesses you.

ORIGINAL POST HERE: http://www.niamagazine.com/5-ways-to-live-confidently/

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“With confidence, you have won before you have started” – Marcus Garvey

When you think about those people who are successful and you aspire to be like, such as Oprah, Martha Stewart, Farrah Gray, the late Steve Jobs, Bill Gates or even the power music couple Jay-Z and Beyonce’, what is the common character trait that they possess?

The answer…CONFIDENCE!

Each believe and have firm trust in not only their talent, but also themselves. And because confidence is contagious, we as viewers believe in them.

It’s been stated that the number one reason people never take the leap of faith to do those things they love and become who they are destined to be, is: a lack of confidence.

You’ve always wanted to quit the corporate life and start your own company but you say you can’t because you don’t have the money to do so. Well, here’s a newsflash – the lack of money is not the real issue.

A lack of confidence is.

Many of those moguls did not have the money to start their brands but they definitely possessed the confidence. I still remember Farrah Gray’s story shared on Oprah of how he sold painted rocks at the age of six and became a young millionaire with other business ventures by age fourteen; just because he knew he could.

With the quote that began this article, the young Farrah Gray won before he began! It’s time for you to do the same.

Here are 5 ways to Live Confidently. Now.

1. Know Who You Are

When you know who you are, and are accepting of who you are, you are not easily broken when someone else challenges you to be something different. This, I will admit, doesn’t happen overnight, but once you know who you are it becomes unshakeable.

Identify your strengths and opportunities, then learn how to celebrate your strengths in all that you do. If you don’t know what they are, start by completing a simple exercise: list five things that you do really well along with the top five things you know and love about yourself.

2. Know That Confidence Already Lives Inside of You

Reflect on moments from early childhood. The times before you became self-aware and were told you couldn’t do something.

I reflect back to the days when I wanted to climb trees simply because the boys were doing it. Everyday I would climb higher and higher. When the boys told me I couldn’t do it, I climbed higher to make fun of them. But when my granny told me that was not lady-like, I began to question myself.

Remember: you already possess confidence. You just need to re-ignite the fire inside to allow it to show through.

3. Kick Fear and Take the Risk!

That’s right, kick fear in the face and just jump. Take the risk now. You will not know the outcome until you actually do it. Assuming is just another way for fear to take control.

Taking a risk involves not always feeling safe and that is okay.

4. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Embracing the unknown and accepting uncomfortable situations is a key to living confidently. It goes perfectly with #3.

You have to accept that you can not plan everything. You do not know the outcome of all situations and sometimes, you will be challenged and uncomfortable. This is all a part of life. So live!

You have to step out of the familiar predictability of your comfort zone.

If you focus on the endpoint and not the process, you become more welcoming of the discomfort.

5. Begin and End with a Smile

It’s one of the simplest things in life to do that offers a large return. Smiling tricks the brain in thinking you are happy. And guess what? When you smile, you instantly become happy. It releases endorphins and reduces stress.

Step out and live confidently NOW. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, so live boldly today.

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KCL Thought of The Day

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Tuesday TEN

LOVE this article by MindBodyGreen

And with the new year fast approaching I thought it best to share with my readers. Be sure to sign up for Mind Body Green daily inspiration and you can receive these amazing articles via email and also see me as a featured contributor.

 

10 Things To Let Go Of Before The End Of The Year

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As we enter the final stretch of 2014, you may be sensing an energetic shift. December is an important month because it sets the stage for the next year. Use this time to reflect on your goals and focus forward with clarity.

Do you feel weighed down by specific people or situations? Use this time to consciously create a stronger foundation for your life, which means walking away from things that drag you down.

This is an ideal time of year to release old thought patterns, fears, relationships, situations and things that no longer serve you. It shifts you into the closing down of the previous year and prepares you for the one ahead.

Rather than spending time focusing on what isn’t working, pull all of your energy into what is going well and focus on what you want. Use deliberate action toward those goals and you’ll see changes happen quickly.

In the spirit of preparing for the new year and releasing what no longer serves you, here are 10 things to let go of before 2015.

1. Let go of thinking you aren’t where you’re supposed to be.

Everything you’ve done has helped you become who you’re meant to be.

2. Release all thought patterns holding you back.

It’s time to start telling yourself a more positive story.

3. Release the idea that your challenges are long-term.

All setbacks are only temporary, but the lessons learned are forever.

4. Let go of the need to have it all figured out.

What doesn’t make sense yet will someday.

5. Let go of the idea that things aren’t working out for you.

Everything is really much better than you can imagine.

6. Stop asking “WHY” this is happening to you.

Instead ask what you can learn from the situation.

7. Release the need to control the outcome.

You may not get what you want when you want, but trust you will always get what you need when you need it.

8. Stop believing you are your mistakes.

There are no mistakes, only growth.

9. Release the need to be right.

Proving others wrong does not make you right. Instead, focus inward and align with love. When you are confident in your own choices, you don’t have to prove anything.

10. Let go of thinking it’s too late for you.

Your dreams matter and they come to you for a reason. Follow your heart, and you will be free. “

To create your own list grab this FREE Love Your Life to The Fullest Guide.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Article by: Shannon Kaiser