5 Ways to Live Confidently

Hey There!!

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Check out my published article in Nia Magazine!

Super excited about it. Pray it blesses you.

ORIGINAL POST HERE: http://www.niamagazine.com/5-ways-to-live-confidently/

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“With confidence, you have won before you have started” – Marcus Garvey

When you think about those people who are successful and you aspire to be like, such as Oprah, Martha Stewart, Farrah Gray, the late Steve Jobs, Bill Gates or even the power music couple Jay-Z and Beyonce’, what is the common character trait that they possess?

The answer…CONFIDENCE!

Each believe and have firm trust in not only their talent, but also themselves. And because confidence is contagious, we as viewers believe in them.

It’s been stated that the number one reason people never take the leap of faith to do those things they love and become who they are destined to be, is: a lack of confidence.

You’ve always wanted to quit the corporate life and start your own company but you say you can’t because you don’t have the money to do so. Well, here’s a newsflash – the lack of money is not the real issue.

A lack of confidence is.

Many of those moguls did not have the money to start their brands but they definitely possessed the confidence. I still remember Farrah Gray’s story shared on Oprah of how he sold painted rocks at the age of six and became a young millionaire with other business ventures by age fourteen; just because he knew he could.

With the quote that began this article, the young Farrah Gray won before he began! It’s time for you to do the same.

Here are 5 ways to Live Confidently. Now.

1. Know Who You Are

When you know who you are, and are accepting of who you are, you are not easily broken when someone else challenges you to be something different. This, I will admit, doesn’t happen overnight, but once you know who you are it becomes unshakeable.

Identify your strengths and opportunities, then learn how to celebrate your strengths in all that you do. If you don’t know what they are, start by completing a simple exercise: list five things that you do really well along with the top five things you know and love about yourself.

2. Know That Confidence Already Lives Inside of You

Reflect on moments from early childhood. The times before you became self-aware and were told you couldn’t do something.

I reflect back to the days when I wanted to climb trees simply because the boys were doing it. Everyday I would climb higher and higher. When the boys told me I couldn’t do it, I climbed higher to make fun of them. But when my granny told me that was not lady-like, I began to question myself.

Remember: you already possess confidence. You just need to re-ignite the fire inside to allow it to show through.

3. Kick Fear and Take the Risk!

That’s right, kick fear in the face and just jump. Take the risk now. You will not know the outcome until you actually do it. Assuming is just another way for fear to take control.

Taking a risk involves not always feeling safe and that is okay.

4. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Embracing the unknown and accepting uncomfortable situations is a key to living confidently. It goes perfectly with #3.

You have to accept that you can not plan everything. You do not know the outcome of all situations and sometimes, you will be challenged and uncomfortable. This is all a part of life. So live!

You have to step out of the familiar predictability of your comfort zone.

If you focus on the endpoint and not the process, you become more welcoming of the discomfort.

5. Begin and End with a Smile

It’s one of the simplest things in life to do that offers a large return. Smiling tricks the brain in thinking you are happy. And guess what? When you smile, you instantly become happy. It releases endorphins and reduces stress.

Step out and live confidently NOW. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, so live boldly today.

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Lemonade, Tea, Me & Bey

So,

Beyonce’ dropped yet another amazing visual album and the world stopped… then carried on. 🙂

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Although I absolutely loved her transparency, ability to showcase she is as human as the rest of us and creativity, I am using this forum to share how you too, can turn the lemons in life into lemonade and proudly carry on!

Here are the top 3 lessons (yes there were more) I learned from Lemonade, were able to relate with and so can you:

  1. NO ONE IS EXEMPT TO EXPERIENCE THE TRIALS IN WHAT WE CALL LIFE! In the words of the one who was once my “husband in my head” and now painting clouds purple as he passed on to glory, Prince “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.” Truth is, we ALL go through it. But only a few will choose to grow through it. Beyonce’ shared her trial and how she’s grown and you can too. Whatever that thing is whether it’s marital problems, infidelity, insecurities, childhood trauma, or even health scares, sweetheart, you are not the first nor will you be the last. Pick up your bed and walk free. Cry, become angry, scream, pout, question and do whatever you need to let it out, but most of all, be sure to KEEP MOVING FORWARD!
  2. DON’T ALLOW IT TO “INTERRUPT YOUR GRIND!” Simply stated, *ish happens. Keep it moving. Bey shared how distractions, even those considered to be your husband can interrupt the plans God has for you if you are not careful. Do things in His will and never lose sight of the end prize. I have to be transparent and share, I fell into this trap for almost a year and when I heard those words “interrupting my grinding” all I could do was jolt up from the lying down position I was in and say in my Kevin Hart voice “wait… I wasn’t ready!” But the truth is, I needed to hear that. NOW… it’s about what I will do with that boost of inspiration. Come on now ladies, get in formation and follow suit! Don’t let anyone or anything interrupt the plans He has for you. Know your purpose and never stray away from it. If you get coins along the way, that is just an added blessing 🙂
  3. FORGIVENESS, FREEDOM AND MOVING ON! When life hands you lemons, make the best lemonade, forgive those who’ve done you wrong, own your freedom and once again, keep it moving! Forgiveness is the key to it all. Many times, why we get stuck is because we forget to forgive. Forgive the one whose wrong you, forgive what has happened to you and forgive yourself for what you’ve done to you including the extended pity party you threw. Own your freedom and let NO ONE take it from you. From family to social media to being captive to un-forgiveness, take your freedom back! “Freedom, freedom, I can’t move! Freedom, cut me loose!” 

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So this is the Lemonade and Tea from me with learnings from Bey!

What are yours?

P.S. If you are needing some help in turning your lemons into lemonade, reach out to me, The Confidence Coach today for your FREE 30 minute Consultation!

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Be sure to share your learnings below!

It’s 2016… Live Intentionally!

Many Blessings to you and yours for the year of 2016 and beyond!!

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It’s a New Year and another opportunity for you to live out your purpose! Being transparent, 2015 definitely had many more valleys than mountains but To God be the glory as it ALL works for the good of HIM!

This year, I have decided to live with intention and I want you to join me on this journey.

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Each month I will focus on one specific area to live with intention. I believe if we take the opportunity to enjoy the moments, find purpose in it all and truly live with intention, we will find accomplish many more goals and truly live our best lives!

This is the opportunity to build a circle of accountability while being encouraged along the way with great tips from none other than Coach K!

Here are the focus for each month:

JANUARY – Wellness

FEBRUARY – Confidence

MARCH – Organization

APRIL – Clarity

MAY – Growth

JUNE – Self

JULY – Family

AUGUST – Learning

SEPTEMBER – Reflection

OCTOBER – Breathe

NOVEMBER – Giving

DECEMBER – Him

Take a minute or five or thirty and think about those things in 2015 you didn’t get the opportunity to finish or those things you wish you could do differently. Then, recognize since you are still living, you have the opportunity to turn them into real goals for 2016. Write them down, give a rough time frame, and begin to take action steps all while surrendering to Jesus, letting Him lead you. Let’s prayerfully take action and live intentionally. We can do this together with laser focus and I’m here to help encourage along the way with a specific focus each month.

So to kick it off… please be sure to join me starting January 4th to get tips and encouragement from me for Wellness! Let’s live with intention each and every step of 2016!

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Be on the look out! Much more to come!!!

Get ready to #LiveIntentionally

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Love Change

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REPEAT: ” I love change and easily adjust myself to new situations”

Remember, change is inevitable but growth is optional. We ALL will experience change and for some it may be a daunting task but if you speak positivity in the midst of and even before, you can prepare yourself for anything that comes your way.

It’s not about what you go through but how you choose to deal with those things you encounter.

Happy Saturday

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Just a friendly reminder to have a fabulous, exciting, loved Saturday!

KCL Proverb

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Invest in YOU

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A quote I saw once stated “If you don’t build your own dreams, someone else will hire you to help build theirs.”

Profound and true.

The question of the day… how often do you invest in yourself?

It amazes me how many people I encounter that are not living out their dreams and how at one point in my life this was also me. In a world where we work, work, work… your dreams can become the back burner to your daily life. But the truth is, when we live this way of working and not fulfilling our dreams, we truly are not living… we are just existing.

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I’ve coached many and when we approach this question, many have shared they have struggled fulfilling their dreams because of life responsibilities and needing to make money to survive. Trust me, I have been in this same place also but I will also transparently share, once I made the decision to quiet the hamster wheel of life and actually LIVE… it was the best decision I’ve made thus far. I travel the world, live on my own terms and experience overflowing happiness.

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How do you get there you ask? Well here are 5 tips to Invest In You and start living out your dreams. 

1. Know your purpose! When you know your purpose it becomes easier to create a plan to execute it. Find out your purpose by seeking God during prayer and meditation asking what are you here to do. You can also ask yourself thought provoking questions to find out what you LOVE to do no matter if you are being paid or not… this will bring you closer to your purpose.

2. Do it in bite-size chunks. You will feel you are moving closer and closer to your God-given purpose if EACH DAY, you do something toward becoming who you are destined to be. This is how you INVEST in you! Examples include, studying more of the craft you want to perfect… writing if you say you are a writer… or even researching the role models in the field you want to pursue to gain inspiration and learnings.

3. Reflect on the small steps. When you reflect on the small steps you are taking toward your goals, this will empower you to continue moving forward.

4. Kick fear in the face!! Don’t be afraid to take the quantum leap! It will be a life changer and you may see some struggles along the way but the end result is happiness greater than you can currently imagine.

5. Reward yourself! When you take the quantum leap or even the baby steps each day then reflect on what you’ve accomplished… reward yourself for being bold enough to go in the direction of your dreams.

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If you like these tips but feel you need more coaching to accomplish, reach out to me Your Confidence Coach for a FREE 30 minute consultation and we will conquer this together!

You can also choose to get more intensive training by attending our E3Retreats in the fall in Costa Rica! Click ——-> HERE <——– for more info!

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~Kisha

“I’sss Married NOW!”

wedding collageYes.. you read that right, I’m now Mrs. Proctor!

I’ve been MIA for the past two months and this is the reason why. I’ve been planning my butt off to get married to the man of my dreams and it’s now time to share it with all of my virtual world… And unlike most weddings, we did NOT break the bank! Hope you enjoy!

(*Please note all photos are from friends who’ve captured via cell phone… professional wedding photography will not be received until next week.)

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Theme: Vintage Southern Chic

Dress code: All White Attire

Time: 2pm

Location: Rose Hill Manor in Port Arthur, Tx

Menu: Back Yard BBQ

Total Spent: $2,200

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To say we didn’t run into any road blocks would be untrue. Our original location was another historic home where we planned to have a huge outdoor wedding along with outdoor dancing, bbq and yard games but due to the weather report showcasing thunderstorms and 90% chance of rain 4 days before the date, we had to quickly switch venues! God was smiling on us to have a home around the corner be available without charging an additional fee.

With that, I had to quickly change out from the original plans. I had to find a venue that would allow me to hold my wedding in doors but still allow something to go on outside under a covering. Well, Rose Hill matched all the criteria!

Below are photos of the original home: The Pompeiian Villa and although we were sadden to not be able to use this place, we are grateful for the Rose Hill Manor venue! The day must go on!!

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I was so happy to have Rose Hill Manor be available as the wrap around porch was 12ft deep and covered which would allow me to host my reception on the porch and not get rained on. We are happy to report that although it did rain, the rain lasted for maybe 35 minutes and was light showers versus the thunderstorms it reported to be.

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My nieces, Aileena and Alani offered an original blessing. Aileena which is 11yrs old read a poem that described Ronald and I’s story. Alani who is 13yrs sung “At Last” by Etta James!

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Here is the original poem written by me but performed by my niece:

155 days ago they met

He called hisself trying to

Seduce her into his world

But if you know my nanny…

She was NOT trying to hear that!

She shot him down every time he spoke

But he never gave up and

Three days later, her heart he took

From not wanting to be bothered

To now the ocean not being able to live without his moon

It was inevitable that this day was to come soon

God knew it was necessary for these two to meet

Now on this day

Two become one and their lives with HIM will now be complete

With love in the air and flowers at full bloom

Please stand as the bride comes to meet her groom

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My brother walked me down the aisle. I love this photo a friend captured as you can see my brothers eyes on me and all the guests looking at my groom to see his reaction. Completely beautiful!

And I can’t be anymore joyful about my Tadashi Shoji dress rented from Vow To Be Chic!

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The video below was created by my husbands cousin and was one of the best gifts received! Click the pic below to view:

We created a newspaper online and printed 80 copies for our guests to read our story as they waited. Here is a copy:

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One of my favorite pics is the one below of me, my sister and granny. My sister made this marvelous Naked Cake with fruit just like I requested and it was scrumptious!

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A candid photo of The Proctor Family

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More pictures to come soon!

I will also post a separate blog that includes a budget breakdown and how to save on cost!

~Kisha

Confidence Affirmation

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Tuesday TEN – 10 ways CONFIDENCE will benefit you

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With my 28 Days to Confidence FREE Workshop kicking off February 1st, I’m dedicating this Tuesday TEN to how confidence will benefit you and why it’s important to build up yours!

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It’s been stated when you experience a lack of confidence, it may stop you from striving for what you want. But when you possess confidence, you abandon worry, hesitation and, more importantly, you side-step fear. The focus here is on your whole being, every part of you; your thoughts, the images in your mind, your emotions, and ultimately your behavior and the actual outcomes in your life.

Below are benefits of what Confidence will do for you!

1. Happiness! When you are confident with yourself and with the life you are living, troubles may come yes… but your happiness will still stand strong. It’s been stated confident people are happier than the average.

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2. Greater Success = More Money! – yes it’s true… the more confident you are the more rewards you will reap professionally which includes making the top dollars. Dr. Maya Angelou was once interviewed and asked to share her one tip of confidence for women… this is what she said: “Well first, there are some things a woman must do for herself. Admit who you are and where you are and how you are to yourself. You don’t have to do that to anyone else. But admit who you are to yourself. Have enough courage. And say, [if it’s the case] ‘I am overweight. I am underweight. I’m not using my time intelligently. I’m not getting enough rest. I’m not having enough fun. I’m not reading enough. I’m not learning enough.’ And say it to yourself. Make notes to yourself so you can improve yourself. It’s very important. It’s important because then you give off an aura of competence and people are more reluctant to take advantage of you if you appear to be competent.” Read more HERE

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3. Worry Less – Take a little lesson from the movie over a decade old…1994 hit Disney film Lion King... Hakuna Matata… It means no worries. A meerkat and warthog, a weird combination for friends confidently taught Simba to forget his troubled past and live proudly in the moment. What a great lesson in confidence. When you are more confident with who you are, you tend to worry less. You simply trust your decisions, live in the moment and accept whatever life hands you in the moment.

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4. Get heard! Confidence allows you to get yourself heard. You will speak more eloquently, a little more stern and confidently with whatever words chosen which demands attention to be paid regardless if the listeners agree or disagree with the points shared.

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5. Become more attractive and have great sex appeal – I remember in early 2000’s when Jermaine Dupri was dating Janet Jackson and so many people would say… “How did he get her?” These statements were made insinuating the difference in the physical look as Jermaine Dupri looked liked the average guy to many but the truth behind it is, confidence of a person will stand out way more than their looks or lack there of and Janet saw more in him than society did.

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6. Networking with a breeze – Confidence will allow you to release the fear of meeting new people which is a benefit for both personal and professional. Personally because meeting new people can lead to great friendships and even an amazing love relationship that you’ve been waiting on. Professionally as if you network freely with no hesitation it could lead to promotions within your current company, opportunities for other companies seeking someone with your particular skill or even growth in clientele for your own business.

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7. So much freakin’ fun! With the benefits listed above it leads to more fun for the confident person. The less you worry, no longer care what people think of you, become more attractive, network and build more relationships, the more fun you will have. You become okay with laughing at yourself aloud and learn not to take things too seriously… oh how much fun your life will be!

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8. Prioritize self-care. Confidence leads to you understanding what is needed for you and this will jumpstart true care for yourself. You understand this does not mean you are selfish but more caring of yourself even more so than you are for others. Whether its monthly massages, energy boosting yoga daily or knowing when and how to proudly say no to those things that may drain you… you will confidently prioritize self-care.

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9. Increase your performance – The more confident you are, the more you will increase performance to going after your dreams. Whether an athlete, motivational speaker, promoter, actor or entrepreneur, truth is the more confident you are in yourself, the more you will work on perfecting your craft to becoming the best. Think Michael Jordan or Denzel Washington or Les Brown or Steve Jobs or Michael Jackson or Oprah… all individuals known for perfecting their craft to be the best in a particular craft.

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10. Kick fear in the face! Remember this TGIM video “Focus on what your purpose is and be determined to fulfill it”… well, confidence will allow you to take that quantum leap into the purpose you are supposed to be living. Regardless if you have enough money in the bank, regardless of the naysayers, regardless of what it may look like to others, you will face your fears head on, master them and keep it moving.

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If you would like FREE training on how to possess this type of confidence sign up for my 28 Days to Confidence. A 28 day guide of meditation, daily activities, affirmations and deeper understanding to becoming the confident person that you are supposed to be.

SIGN UP 28

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KCL Thought of The Day

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Tuesday TEN

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Happy Birthday To ME!!!

Check out 10 reflections from my past year!

1. Launched and completed #thesmileproject 

Last year I decided on my birthday to share a reason why I smile EVERYDAY for one full year and I did it! I had so many supporters around the world and so happy it impact many peoples lives!

2. Launch of KCL App!

First time to do an app and loved everything about it. Although its no longer active, trying it out was a good experience. Who knows what the future may hold… Maybe I’ll reactivate it or revamp it!

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3. Free trip to Hawaii! 

My hard work pays off! With the help of a wonderful team I am rewarded with a free trip to Honolulu, Hawaii! So many great experiences… To many to recap but thankful for it all.

4. Took the leap and left retail!

Decided to finally follow my dreams, pursue my passion and allow my talent to be turned into a business! Launched Keepin Chic LLC!

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5. Moved from the crazy weather of NY back to home state of Texas!

I was so over the weather… although I enjoyed the moments and the opportunities… It was time to return home.

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6. My book is published!!!

Texas and The City“! I followed my dreams and wrote a book in a years time then published it and launched it!

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7. I’m hired for speaking engagements!

From social meet up groups to colleges, people are asking for my services and I’m enjoying every moment of it. SO BLESSED!

8. My book tour!

So after the launch of my book, I planned a Texas and The City Book tour and sold out 3 out of 5 stops. Very exciting for first published book and there is more to come next year.

9. Partnership with Blend in For What?! Campaign that I feel passionately about! Join the Movement!

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10. He came along…

So this happened… I opened my heart to the possibility of love and it came like a wrecking ball. I’m so excited to what will come this year with who I know I’m destined to be with.

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Cheers to last year and to what will be an even more amazing year this year!

~Kisha

KCL Thought of The Day

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KCL Thought of the Day

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Tuesday TEN

Tuesday TEN

Ten ways to invest into YOU!

After speaking with a friend, I had to share more in detail. These are just quick ways to invest more into YOU. Remember your value is worth far more than anything else you are surrounded with. Here are ten ways to invest in YOU!

1. BE HUMBLE Never forget where you came from. Simple reflections each day are the best moments of investing in you. Give thanks, remember when and be humble.

2. Get to know YOU Get to know who you are and what you are destined to be. Know this… purpose is a powerful thing and when you know YOUR purpose… you can release greatness! “Be yourself; everyone is already taken” ~Oscar Wilde

3. Develop your skills Take some additional courses, research and even enroll in workshops to consistently develop your skills. Consistent learning is a great investment for oneself.

4. Nurture your body Care for your body by staying active. When your body is a well oiled machine, your mind will be also. This will then aid in more creativity flowing, time prioritizing and allow you to reap the benefits of investing in you.

5. Hang with like minded individuals Get involved with positive groups of people. Iron will sharpen iron. Surrounding yourself with a positive and encouraging group of people will propel you to consistently follow your dreams, believe in yourself and invest more into YOU.

6. Create a morning ritual Perfect time for productivity. This investment can add so much to your life. More exercise, quiet time, reflection time, or even affirmation time… these are all additions from one investment that pours back into YOU.

7. Get lost in a good book. Simply stated… Knowledge is power and this investment will improve creativity and understanding.

8. Become debt-free! Nothing more rewarding than not having the stress of debt!

9. Celebrate YOU We sometimes become so caught up in the task, next task or big project that we forget to take a moment to celebrate our success. So starting today… Celebrate you and all of your awesomeness!

10. Hire a coach! Whatever your struggle area may be, the right coach will pay off tremendously. A coach will support, encourage, challenge and constantly empower you along your journey of greatness. Looking for the right one… Hire Me! http://kishaschiclessons.com/confidence-coaching/

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Get YOUR Happy back!!…Or don’t ever lose it 🙂

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Kisha’s Life Lessons Week 21

Things happen… it’s called LIFE! But this shouldn’t ignite feelings of hopelessness or negativity. Keep smiling through and don’t lose your happiness! The current life storm is only temporary… don’t ever forget that!

Top 5 ways to keep or get your Happy back are:

  1. Stay committed… don’t check out so quickly
  2. “Feed your mind”
  3. Work out! (Endorphin makes you happy)
  4. Send out positive vibes and get it back 100 fold!
  5. SMILE… it’s contagious!

~Kisha